A plea for help

An open letter to all my organizationally gifted friends:

Why do you taunt me with you insanely organized lives? What did I do to deserve been left in the chaotic clutter of my own making? Won’t one (or better yet all) of you come and set me straight?

I have hit bottom. This is indeed my plea for an intervention. I have the will and the strength but not the knowledge necessary to successfully organize my house. I have 3 whisks. I think that is two many, but is it just one too many, or two? And which one do I keep, the one that goes with the set, or the pretty one? I honestly don’t know and that is why I am asking for help.

I have tried and there are attempts visible everywhere in the house. The poorly designed recycling center, the laundry room filled with unused baskets, and WALT’s ever expanding art area. Can you mix crayons and markers? Do you divide stickers by their shape, their color, or their backing? Won’t somebody help me please?

Every holiday has it’s assigned boxes, and then somewhere there is another box (or 4) containing the decorations that got left out after the holiday. And then of course my art area is filled with stuff I know I don’t want, but I don’t know what to do with it. Do I sell it? If so where, at a yard sale or ebay? And how much should I charge. These are skills I simply don’t possess.

It is fair to ask why now, after a lifetime of seemingly blissful chaos, I am reaching out for help. Just this morning after searching in vain for my other snow shoe, during which I found 2 complete pairs of shoes I forgot I owned, I had to immediately begin the search for a second glove. Is it even legal to mention I have a box with over 100 unmated socks???

I don’t know where to begin. Please, please help.

Sarah